the end of this chapter

"Tell me that past times won't die
Tell me that old lies are alive
Love that expired too long time ago
Kills me, it thrills me"
(this is how I used to feel - and it's poison.)

And just like that he was gone.
And just like that I found myself, alone, fighting back tears and nursing a hot coffee, avoiding the sympathetic looks of fellow 2pm coffee drinkers.
It's like finding the dullest, rustiest, most jagged knife within your reach and cutting out a piece of your heart.
And then looking at this piece, and realizing it was never that big to begin with. What hurt was all the ties that held it together. And that's when you know that if only you had done this long ago, those ties wouldn't be there, and everything would have been so much easier.
Having the truth placed in front of you, and for being stubborn not wanting to accept it.
I want to wake up and smile, I want to go to sleep and not cry for a half hour beforehand, because in all honesty, it isn't even worth it.

"If you think to yourself, “What should I do now?”
Then take the baton, and girl, you better run with it.
'Cause there is no point in standing in the past cause it’s over and done with."